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 Jingle Jingle

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Roéd
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PostSubject: Jingle Jingle    Fri Dec 24, 2010 12:16 am

((Woho it's that time of year! rendeer study santa ))

Stormy orbs and gingerbread heroes

Roéd had intended to walk straight past the goblin and her booth. He didn’t much like goblins so he tried to avoid them. Lately that had become a very difficult thing to do. They were everywhere he went. The redheaded elf had pushed his glasses as high upon his nose as he could, tilted his cin upwards and marched straight past her. He hadn’t offered her wares a glance! Unfortunately it was not enough to turn your eyes away from this particular goblins booth because, even if you were as blind as Roéd without glasses, your nose would probably pick up on the lovely smells.
Just as the elf had made it past the booth his nostrils recognized the scent he knew so well.
Gingerbread cookies.
He turned on his heels and hurried over to the booth. Roéd had made a lot of gingerbread cookies this year already, and his sisters had made many for him too. But it was as his uncle used to say; No matter how many chickens you had yesterday it wouldn’t help you today if they had all been eaten already.
Roéd stared at all the gingerbread cookies. They came in all shapes and sizes but one of them caught his attention. It was a gingerbread paladin. For several moment’s he could do nothing but stare. The paladin smiled up at him with red lips and blue eyes. Her hair was long and blond and in her hands she held a shield and a sword. Her sword was lifted high and rays of light shone from it.
He had never seen any cookie as pretty as that. Not even the cupcakes his friend had given him long ago could measure up to this. Roéd smiled down at the paladin and for a moment he forgot all about his difficult quest.
“Sir? Sir? Sir!” A voice suddenly intruded on him. The lady goblin stood looking up at him with her hands on her hips and a wrinkled brow.
“Hi.” Roéd said and looked back to the paladin.
“I sell the best cookies in the world, toots. And they aint all that expensive neitha.” The goblin said and Roéd looked back at her. She was vey green and her ears were full of silver.
“Toots?” He scratched his head. One reason he didn’t much like goblins had to do with the way they talked.
“Now, you gonna buy somethin' or not? I aint runnin no museum here and if I was you wouldn’t get to stare for free. If you don’t got the doe you gotta go, capeesh?” She arched an eyebrow at him and he nodded.
“How m-much for that one?” He asked and pointed at the gingerbread paladin. The goblin eyed him up and down and clicked her tongue several times as if thinking very hard.
“You one of them rich boys?” Roéd shook his head. He wasn’t a boy and he wasn’t rich.
“I-I’m a man.” He informed her and she nodded.
“I hear ya toots. How much d'ya think a thing like this is worth?” Roéd looked at the gingerbread paladin with a sinking heart. Surely it would be worth a lot more than he could give her. It was a paladin after all. He didn’t know much about marketing but he was suddenly certain that anything shaped like a paladin must be very valuable.
“A lot.” He mumbled and suddenly wished Dag had been here to help him guess.
“That’s damn right. But I tell ya what. I like you. You know quality when you see it. I’ll cut you a deal. You give me ten gold pieces and the cookie-chick is yours.” Roéd couldn’t believe his ears. He had heard that goblins were very good at bargaining but this was absurd! Ten gold pieces for a paladin-shaped gingerbread cookie? The elf quickly drew his pouch out of his pocket and fished out ten shiny pieces of gold and held them out for the goblin lady before she could change her mind.
She took the coins and put them in her pouch.
“You sure like gingerbread cookies. Women like that in a man, you know?” She said and fished his cookie up from the display counter with a little spade. Roéd shook his head. He had never know women liked that men liked gingerbread cookies. One of his sisters had married a man who ate cookies all the time, and he had a belly to prove it. Roéd had never understood why his sister had liked him, but now he knew.
The goblin lady put the cookie in a very pretty box, put a lid on it and finally wrapped a red bow on top.
“Th-thank you.” He said and took the box with shaking hands. He was holding a box with a tiny paladin lady inside.
“So why’d you want that particular one?” She asked. Roéd thought that perhaps she would change her mind about the deal and try to take it back.
“Y-you can’t change your mind now. I a-already paid.” He took a step back.
“Of coase I aint gonna change my mind. We made a deal and I don’t go back on a deal. So what’cha want it for?”
“I like paladins.” He admitted after a long while. The goblin lady smiled widely.
“Why didn’t you tell me right away? I’m a collahfull cat, sugah, I got just the thing for you.” She ducked down behind the counter and when she popped back into view she was holding something wrapped in cloth. She sat the thing down on the counter carefully and Roéd took a step closer.
“Before I show it to yah you gotta promise me you aint goin ta talk to anybody about what you see.”
Roéd nodded his head but sensed that wouldn’t be enough to satisfy her.
“I w-won’t tell anyone.” He said.
“You look like an honest man, toots, so I trust ya. Now I don’t go around trustin just anybody so it would be a damned shame and bad luck to yah if you broke my trust.” She eyed him closely and Roéd was glad he looked like an honest man because if he hadn’t she wouldn't show him what she was going to show him.
“I won’t.” He said. Very slowly she started to unwrap the thing.
If he hadn’t been prepared for something great he would have lost his jaw in sheer joy at what he saw.
An orb of glass rested on a pedestal made out of snow-white stone. The pedestal was decorated with carvings of humans who were all dressed against the cold weather. There were children, old people and normal humans and they were all staring up at the figurine inside the orb. An armored man with a sword fastened to his side sat proudly upon a white charger. The man and horse had been painted with such detail that they almost looked real. The man held his horses reins in one hand while he carried his helmet under the other arm. His eyes shone with the power of the light within him and his wavy hair had been brushed behind his short round ears. He was looking down at his snow-white admirers with a kind smile. If the figurine had moved Roéd would not have been surprised. He almost suspected that the man had been alive once but someone had shrunk him and trapped him inside this orb of glass. The horse had a black mule and black eyes. The beast looked as calm as its master and to Roéd they seemed to be like one.
Suddenly the goblin shook the thing and set it down again. The redhead laughed with joy as a storm of snow fell upon the paladin and horse. He had never seen anything like it. There seemed to be a strong wind inside the orb because the snow twirled this way and that and fell from left to right instead of straight down. Neither horse nor paladin seemed to mind the wind. None of them so much as winked an eye as the snow landed on their noses and in their hair.
Roéd watched and watched until the storm settled and the snow laid quietly at the chargers hooves.
“It’s th-the most wonderfull thing I’ve e-ever seen.” He whispered and the goblin nodded.
“What do ya reckon it’s worth?” She asked but Roéd simply shook his head. He was sure it was a number so high he didn’t know it.
“It’s not cheap, I can tell ya that. Now you said you aint rich…” He could feel her watching him but try as he might he couldn’t take his eyes of the paladin. “So you’d probably not afford to buy it.” The elf had already know that. If Dag had been here he would they could have killed the goblin and taken the globe. But the imp was in the nethers and he was very angry.
Roéd closed the world out and went into himself. It didn’t take him long to find the thin thread that connected him to his familiar. He prodded at it testily. There was no reaction from the imp. Roéd tugged at the thread to get the imps attention but as he did so the thread snapped.
Daggup was still angry. When he wanted to, the imp could hide in the nethers and not come out unless Roéd came after him. The elf had tried that once and it had not been pleasant so Roéd let the imp hide and went back to the real world. There he was still staring at the paladin and the goblin lady was staring at him.
“Well, do we got a deal?” She asked impatiently.
“Deal?” Roéd asked.
“Hey, listen you dupe. I already told ya this aint no museum! Sharpen those twiggy ears of yours. Now you probably wouldn’t afford to buy it, right? But since I’m such a softie I’ll let ya rent it. Thirty gold a month, eh? Wha’da'ya say?” Roéd nodded at once.
He didn’t make a lot of money on the treasures he sold but that was because he never really tried. It would not be easy but he was sure he could make that much money, in addition to what he spent on food and soap every month, if he tried to.
Besides, once he was on his way with the orb he could decide to never return. She would never find him again if he didn’t tell her where he went. What could a merchant really do about that?
And with that in mind Roéd signed their deal under the false name he had invented months ago when he had been surrounded by crazy people. He was very proud of how devious he was.
That night he fell asleep to a silent snowstorm in a glass orb. It was the best winters veil he had ever had.


Last edited by Vandien on Mon Dec 27, 2010 3:27 am; edited 1 time in total
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Drilac'n
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PostSubject: Re: Jingle Jingle    Fri Dec 24, 2010 12:32 am

Poor Roéd! Swindled out of ten gold by a mean Goblin!

Although I'll sell you a potion that will turn you -into- a Paladin for a Hundred gold!


Effects may vary. Ability to use the light is unlikely. The Royal Apothecary Society can not be held responcible for no change apart from a slight bubbly feeling and minor nausia.

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The way is shut,
It was made by those who are dead
And the dead keep it.

Skeleton in the closet.
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Roéd
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PostSubject: Re: Jingle Jingle    Fri Dec 24, 2010 12:51 am

Oh my god! *runs to the bank*

That little text really is small... ^^
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Drek
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PostSubject: Re: Jingle Jingle    Fri Dec 24, 2010 2:53 am

Awesome, Ro. As always. Roéd makes me laugh.
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arli
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PostSubject: Re: Jingle Jingle    Fri Dec 24, 2010 8:14 am

I'm still laughing Ro, that was brilliant Smile
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Roéd
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PostSubject: Re: Jingle Jingle    Sat Dec 25, 2010 4:50 pm

Aaah that is great to hear. Everyone should laugh during winter veil ^^ Thanks!

And Drek! Now you can regrett having flown away on the wings of real life because Ro makes very tasty gingerbread cookies! Undead or not i know Elsie would have loved them.
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Iselinn
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PostSubject: Re: Jingle Jingle    Sun Dec 26, 2010 2:24 am

I love Ro too, sis! You make me laugh so much ^^
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Roéd
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PostSubject: Re: Jingle Jingle    Mon Dec 27, 2010 2:47 am

Thanks sis!! Very Happy It sucks that Ro and Ise cant be pals Sad

So! I'll be away from the horde, or at least Ro, for a while i think. Thatwas partly the reason wrote the x-mas thing(the other reason beeing that it was x-mas and i shook a snowglobe). ANYWAYS the previous story leads to this "story" and that leads to Ro going into hiding.

In Bad With the Goodfellas

I like wearin’ makeup, now I ain’t no ballerina or some goodfellah’s sweetheart, but yeah, I like lookin’ pretty. That don’t mean my life revolves ‘round my looks or nothin. Like most chicks I got a special place in my heart for them sparkles. If ya’aksed me: Diamonds or gold? I would tell yah: What d’ ya mean OR?
Ask me a question and I’ll give yah an answah if I can but I aint gonna be sugah-coatin' it. I ain’t no dame and I ain’t goin’ to pretend to it eitha’. I don’t bat my lashes ta get the good stuff.
What I been saying, or tryin’ ta’ say, is that I’m my own fortunes smith. I earn my own bread and that ain’t no walk in tha park.
I’m a business woman, doing business and makin’ deals is in my blood. So yah see, when I make a deal with someone I keep my end of the bargain. I ain’t no two-timin’ punk who goes around breaking deals. I run a serious business, I got a reputation to uphold, undahstand?
Now I can’t let deal-breakers run free. If I did that I’d have an army of two-timers on my door, all ready ta rip me of. If ya want to do buisness and get any moolah you can’t be shy about usin’ tha stick and Mack.
So y’see it ain’t that I enjoy sendin’ goons aftah those knuckleheads or anythin’,I have’ta do it.
You gotta break a few eggs to make an omelet. Now I ain’t sayin i got a habit of gettin’ people iced but I don’t mind crackin’ a few ribs or, say.. clippin’ a few fingers and then see where it goes from there.
So I got this redhead thinkin’ he can run out on me. He was in here not long ago, signed the whites with blacks and all that jazz. Now the black clearly spell out that he should’a been here with tha bread before midday. Tha man on the moon is out there singin’ like a bird and the knucklehead still ain’t shown up, so I got to thinkin’; Hey, ain’t it time I send out the muscle?

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Roéd
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PostSubject: Re: Jingle Jingle    Sun Jan 09, 2011 9:56 pm

((just a tiny text because i was bored and think that the elven eyebrows are rediculous))

Be on your toes.

”Ow, ow, ow, ow” Roéd kept repeating the word but Daggup did not let of of his eyebrow.
“You STOLE from a goblin merchant? A female goblin merchant!?” How could the elf be so blind to danger? Even he, a demon, knew not to toy about with a goblin merchant. Somehow Roéd was unable to understand anything was dangerous unless he was told directly that it was. The elf had stolen a fancy orb from a goblin and now they had a bunch of goons on their heels, one of which was now lying unconscious in Roéd’s closet.
“It was s-so expensive!” The elf growled and tried to pry Daggup’s fingers of his eyebrow.
“That guy in there just tried to cut your toes of! Toys are not worth losing your toes for!” The elf gave up on his attack on Dag’s fingers.
“Ow, Dag.. Ow.” He said but Daggup would not let go. He was angry and wanted the elf to learn to be less of an idiot. The elf fell silent and sat still for a little while, he seemed to be thinking about something. Perhaps he would understand what he had done wrong. Daggup eyed the elf hopefully.
“D-dag” the elf said and Dag nodded encouragingly. “It is not a toy.” Daggup tugged at the elf’s brow.
“Ow!”
“I don’t care what it is! You stole from a dangerous person! She won’t except a simple apology! At least I don’t think she will…” Daggup blinked, would she? They could ask the man in the closet later. He didn’t have the chance to consider that possibility, however, because he was suddenly assaulted by ten long fingers.
“AHAHA! Stop it boss! Hahahaha!” Dag involuntarily let go of the elf’s eyebrow and was reduced to a squirming bundle of feet, arms and belly. Roéd gave a him a toothy smile of victory before letting him breathe.
“I win.” The elf said and stood up from the floor. He walked over to the closet and tried to peep in through the keyhole. “M-mister? Hello?” Roéd set his ear to the closet door and knocked twice. There was no reply.
“Urrh.. Lett’s just get out of here.” Dag scratched his belly and walked over to Roéd. The elf looked down at him with a slight frown.
“W-we can’t leave yet.” He said and set his ear back to the door.
“Uuuh.. Why not?” Daggup asked, not sure he wanted to know the answer. The elf looked at him as if he were an idiot.
“It is v-very rude to leave without saying goodbye.”
“It is also very rude to steal, Roéd.” Daggup folded his arms and raised an eyebrow. Roéd looked at him as he knocked on the closet door.
“Yes. B-but then I had a reason to be rude.”
“You have a better reason to be rude now, boss. Actually.. you have ten of them. Your toes!” The elf laughed at him.
“Toes aren’t reasons. Wh-why would he want my toes anyway?” The elf tilted his head and looked at his sockless foot. He wiggled his toes as if to prove they were all still there.
“He doesn’t want your toes.. He just wa.. You know what.. Forget it. I am leaving and if you don’t want to be left behind, you better follow me. Leave him a note or something.” Dag slowly walked towards the door. The door was very close and Daggup had no idea how he would manage to open it. He wouldn’t be able to reach the handle. If he reached the door before Roéd decided to follow him, the bluff would be up.
“Ok!” The elf yelped and scurried around the room to get dressed and fetch hi things. “Goodbye, mister toe-man.” He said to the closet. Dag stood waiting at the door. Some people were very evil. So they killed people and stole their stuff for the fun of it. Roéd killed people because he thought it was fun too. Daggup had once thought that it was a streak of evil in his master. But it had become quite apparent that the reason Roéd did anything was because he had no idea what he was doing. Killing was a game to him. He would pretend he was an evil warlock and that whoever he fought was a great hero, or he would pretend he was the hero and the other was the evil person. So, killing, to Roéd, had nothing to do with inflicting pain and death upon his victims. The elf never even considered that those he killed would die. In his mind it was all just a story like in the book. So the question was. If someone killed another without really understanding what he was doing, could you still say he was evil? Daggup wasn’t sure. It didn’t really matter. Roéd liked to hunt and fight, Daggup liked to kill and laugh about it. They were a great team.
“Let’s go to Sha-sha.. Shattrath. Grimmie has asked me to drink c-coffe with him there.”
“Oooh nooo! Not THAT guy!”
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